Charisma is for the few; those who are born with it.
For adults who stutter, it’s almost out of question that we ever should be charismatic. But what if I told you, that it is possible to be charismatic even though you stutter and don’t have charisma.
In this article, we’ll deep dive into these titles:
- Trust is the magnetic foundation for charisma
- Body language is more important than speaking
- Why passion is right up there next to oxygen
- So what is charisma?
But how can I be charismatic, if I can’t say my own name right? you wonder.
Trust is the magnetic foundation of charisma
When you’re meeting someone, you’re either put off by their “What’s in it for me”-attitude or intrigued by their “How can I help you”-attitude. This is all a matter of their character and the way they decide to present themselves. It’s their personal charisma (for lack of better word); the way they glow and their goodwill. It’s their character.
It’s their “Ethos”.
Ethos defined: In modern usage, ethos denotes the disposition, character, or fundamental values particular to a specific person, people, corporation, culture, or movement. – Wikipedia
Ethos is in other words almost equal to trust because trust is about who you are; it’s about character. If you radiate a lousy character, then trust and charisma is lacking too.
1. How do we measure Ethos and why is it important?
You want to radiate goodwill and selflessness. This is the foundation for great communication regardless of how you speak. That’s why Ethos is important. Because when you stutter, you might feel a little “behind” in the social ladder competition. You might not be able to fully control your blocks and your speech. But you can control your Ethos.
Ethos is measured by several factors, all which you control:
- Your body language
- What you say
- How you behave
Everything communicates. There is no such thing as “not communicating.” Thus you have to be aware of how you present yourself. Do it right and build your character, which in turn build trust around you.
More than your looks, it’s also your actions and your thoughts
Ethos is more than how you look. You get charisma with trust and confidence. Think about the following:
- Which part of myself do I want to put forth in conversations?
- How can I make the world a better place and how do I communicate that?
- Am I putting on a facade or is it me, that I am projecting, when I speak?
- Which positive things can I focus on in this situation and/or place?
There is more to trust than speaking. Body language is certainly one factor out of many.
Let’s find out why.
2. Body language is more important than speaking
If your body radiates disgust, then no amount of sugar coating on your words can change that. In such cases, we trust the body.
One of the best ways to control your charisma is with your posture. A solid posture translates to energy and confidence. If you’re walking around with a slobby posture, stop for a second and notice how you feel.
Do you feel energized?
Do you feel confident?
Do other’s see you as confident and energized?
Reclaiming your body
As children, we had this gift to “read” our parents. We knew exactly what was going on inside them. We knew how father felt by listening to the tone of his voice, his facial expressions, and posture. We knew everything. That was important because his posture and feeling had consequences for you. Your body tells everything about you. It’s like a small troll on your shoulder shouting all your secrets.
Free Checklist: Click here to get access to a free PDF checklist that shows you how to improve your charisma using the techniques from this post (the checklist also includes 2 bonus tips).
People who have a strong charisma know what they communicate with their body. Nothing is random. They let their inner (positive) life shine through to the outside world.
What do you want to shine through?
Work on your body
The first step is to be aware of what your body communicate. You can only change what you know. Ask people what they think of your body language and record yourself on video.
- Is your posture slobby?
- How do you walk?
- How do you dress?
- How do you enter a room?
- When entering a room, do you walk to the middle of it or do you become one with the wall?
Step two is to work on expressions. That means to work on how you use your hands, your tone of voice, your posture.
- How do you use your hands?
- Do you smile?
- Is your voice strong?
- Is your chin down or high?
Strep three is to be aware of how other people use their body. When you’re great at reading other people, then you become better at communicating the right way, at the right time.
Nothing beats passion. Here’s why that should be your go-to topic in every conversation where you want to stand out.
3. Why passion is right up there next to oxygen
What do you do, that you truly believe in?
When we do something that we believe in, whether it’s helping people who stutter, or helping children with math, or teach yoga, you can see it in our eyes that we care. The color in your face changes, blood rushes through your veins, and you think faster. That’s passion. Right there.
You talk about your passion with care, with energy and with your entire body. Everything in your body is in sync. That’s passion.
Believe in something, truly believe in it, and charisma will follow as a byproduct. It’s people with visions and big goals, that inspire others to go outside their comfort zone.
Think for a minute about Elon Musk. Some people, says he’s crazy, and other people says he’s a visionary. Regardless, we can’t take his passion away from him. That’s why he’s charismatic. Charismatic people who care about a cause, paint vivid images and help other people see things their way.
How to find your passion
What’s your passion? Find your passion right here:
4. So what is charisma?
The only way to be charismatic is through the eyes of the other. The premise of charisma is, that we create it with the other person. It’s the relationship that matters. Inside the relation, there’s a bond, where you radiate and glow with your body, how you say things, eye contact, your passion and a lot of other interpersonal effects. Charisma is not one thing. It’s many.
When I worked at a mail office, I had a boss, who had charisma. It’s the only time I met someone who really had charisma. He just knew, what to say, and his body language oozed that he would lead the way. He was sure of himself. He had confidence. He knew what needed attention. That’s common for people who are charismatic. They are great communicators both verbally and non-verbally.
One of the best ways to gain charisma is through your:
- body language
You don’t have to say everything verbally. Your body speaks too. That’s why you can be charismatic even though you stutter.